More Than a Business Tool… Kindness as a way of life

Although I missed one of my favorite journalists in the FT this week, (Stephen Stern), there was a special treat in the Business Life section on Tuesday… the author of both “In Search of Excellence” and “The Little Big Things”, Tom Peters. His article was titled “Kindness Can be the Hardest Word of All”.

According to Mr. Peters, kindness, (undervalued by most business analysts), can have a very favorable impact on our customers. He goes on to say that sometimes we get it backward… we worry over “hard numbers”. We fret over our business plans. But in the meantime we forget what the novelist Henry James wrote: “Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.”

Wow. There’s a principle to “wrap our heads around”.

According to Mr. Peters kindness pays off in repeat business. That makes perfect sense to me.

As I wonder about this concept, I think of all aspects of my life… clients… people that I meet… family… friends… people get on my nerves… people that I don’t really understand.
I wonder about why I sometimes withhold kindness.

Maybe I’m afraid that people will think I’m too “soft” and not smart or aggressive in my career. I’m nervous that if I don’t “stand my ground” with family and friends that I’ll be used as a doormat. I think that I won’t achieve my goals if I’m too kind.

As I ponder being kind to clients, I think about how I don’t want to be one of these creatures who is kind if I think I’ll get a “payback”. If I’m going to be kind… well… I want to really… in my heart of hearts and soul of souls… be a kind creature.

I wonder about the times that it’s easiest for me to be kind. I can be kindest when I’m clear about what I’m trying to accomplish. For instance… if I know where I’m trying to go with my business, it’s easier to kindly communicate to others whether or not their motives align with mine. I don’t have to be dramatic or mean or put anyone down… our goals just simply do not match.

It’s harder for me in my personal life. The goals are adjusted constantly. Things change minute by minute. In a family everyone has different goals. People that I want to be friends with or people that want to be friends with me end up having a different set of values. It seems so much more complicated to me than business life but at the same time friends & family are where I feel I should be my kindest.

Maybe it’s about just being “comfortable in my skin” and not playing the “guilt game” or getting sucked into peer pressure . Once again, if I’m clear about who I am and what my main objective is in life, then it’s simpler to interact with others in clear, kind terms.

Hmmmm…. I think I better get back to reading the book a friend gave me last year, (The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren), and get comfortable with my purpose in life! Then, perhaps, with the grace of God, I can be a kind person who has a happy life and a successful business.